The short answer is, you don't.
There is more than that though, so here's a story.
Last week, my best friend's mother passed away after fiercely battling colon cancer for a number of years. She had stage IV colorectal cancer, a stage very few people live beyond five years with, yet her mother did it. As it was expressed at her funeral, her mother did not complain but instead quietly battled a disease that both my friend's mother and father knew that she was very likely going to lose.
I have to wonder, what do you battle for at that point? Do you battle the disease because it is what you should do? Do you hold onto that one little sliver of a chance that you could pull through? Or instead, do you battle each depressing thought so you can at least live happily while you can?
My best friend was very strong through all of this. She went to a school in a different state, although not far, and kept going on. She went to Africa for a study abroad, she went across the country for an awesome internship studying snakes, she and I as well as other friends founded a club that took over a significant amount of time and weekends to run.
After her internship ended at the end of July, she had to decide when to go home to spend time with her mother. It had been around five years that her mother had been battling the disease, and as said before, not many people make it that far. Her mother's time was coming up, and it was an unmovable weight. My friend had originally thought she would come home in September, thinking that her mother would still have a few months at the very least, but decided to come home in the middle of August instead.
Two weeks later, her mother passed away peacefully and without pain in the comfort of her own home.
My best friend feasibly had a long time to prepare for her mother's death, but how do you really do that? When I sat down with her a day after her mother's funeral, she confided in me that she knew this was going to be it. Even though it seemed to happen so quickly, and she thought she was going to have a longer time to spend with her mother, she had always known this was going to be it. My friend then said something rather significant though, and it was what inspired me to write this post.
"I couldn't live like my mother was dying."
And that is entirely true. Her mother fought and battled a disease that could have taken her within the first year of having it, much less the full five years that it did take. Was my friend to stop living her life during some of her most pivotal and defining years in case her mother was to pass away the next day? I feel as though her mother was much happier watching her daughter progress and strive in life than she would have been had my friend been holding her hand every second of the day, with nothing new to add to the otherwise daunting conversation.
People often say to live like you were dying, but in another sense... live as though the people closest to you were dying. Because it's true, we are getting closer to dying everyday. Enjoy and take full advantage of the moments you have with them, be kind and respectful and a decent human being. And live your life, because that makes a better conversation.
My best friend's sister is running 12 half marathons in 12 months to raise money towards fighting colon cancer. You can follow her awesome blog & donate here.
There is more than that though, so here's a story.
Last week, my best friend's mother passed away after fiercely battling colon cancer for a number of years. She had stage IV colorectal cancer, a stage very few people live beyond five years with, yet her mother did it. As it was expressed at her funeral, her mother did not complain but instead quietly battled a disease that both my friend's mother and father knew that she was very likely going to lose.
I have to wonder, what do you battle for at that point? Do you battle the disease because it is what you should do? Do you hold onto that one little sliver of a chance that you could pull through? Or instead, do you battle each depressing thought so you can at least live happily while you can?
My best friend was very strong through all of this. She went to a school in a different state, although not far, and kept going on. She went to Africa for a study abroad, she went across the country for an awesome internship studying snakes, she and I as well as other friends founded a club that took over a significant amount of time and weekends to run.
After her internship ended at the end of July, she had to decide when to go home to spend time with her mother. It had been around five years that her mother had been battling the disease, and as said before, not many people make it that far. Her mother's time was coming up, and it was an unmovable weight. My friend had originally thought she would come home in September, thinking that her mother would still have a few months at the very least, but decided to come home in the middle of August instead.
Two weeks later, her mother passed away peacefully and without pain in the comfort of her own home.
My best friend feasibly had a long time to prepare for her mother's death, but how do you really do that? When I sat down with her a day after her mother's funeral, she confided in me that she knew this was going to be it. Even though it seemed to happen so quickly, and she thought she was going to have a longer time to spend with her mother, she had always known this was going to be it. My friend then said something rather significant though, and it was what inspired me to write this post.
"I couldn't live like my mother was dying."
And that is entirely true. Her mother fought and battled a disease that could have taken her within the first year of having it, much less the full five years that it did take. Was my friend to stop living her life during some of her most pivotal and defining years in case her mother was to pass away the next day? I feel as though her mother was much happier watching her daughter progress and strive in life than she would have been had my friend been holding her hand every second of the day, with nothing new to add to the otherwise daunting conversation.
People often say to live like you were dying, but in another sense... live as though the people closest to you were dying. Because it's true, we are getting closer to dying everyday. Enjoy and take full advantage of the moments you have with them, be kind and respectful and a decent human being. And live your life, because that makes a better conversation.
Rest in peace Cindy Easter. 1959-2012
My best friend's sister is running 12 half marathons in 12 months to raise money towards fighting colon cancer. You can follow her awesome blog & donate here.
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