Please, Never Get Me a Diamond Ring

...or spend 2 - 3 months salary on an engagement ring. I'm a long ways from being engaged, but recently I was introduced to the idea that an engagement ring should cost 2 - 3 months salary. Meaning, for someone on a 35k take home salary, an engagement ring should cost anywhere from $6,000 - $8,000. I'm sorry, but what? What is this absurd rule and who came up with it? Jewelers?

$8,699 from Helzberg Diamonds

Let us look at a few things that the lower end of $6,000 can buy: 

- A very comfortable vacation for two on a nice cruise line. For a cheaper cruise line, my boyfriend and I spent about $2,000 total including alcohol.
- A vacation to Europe... okay, well really a vacation to anywhere.
- A down payment on a house.
- A car. A CAR.
- Almost a years worth of rent.

Anyways, you get the point. You can buy a lot of very useful things with $6,000. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the validity of buying a $1,000 ring, much less a $6,000 ring. I would much prefer a vacation and a wonderful time with my husband-to-be than an overpriced "symbol of our love."

Additionally, I have a secret to tell you. Diamonds are not worth anything. Yup, that's right... sorry. It's all about demand, and many jewelers who otherwise buy gold won't even purchase diamonds. They appear to be scarce though and demand drives the price up like madness.

And well, if you still think, "nah, they have got to be worth something," let me ask you something: do you know about the problems that many African countries are having? With fear of sounding like a crazy activist, I have to warn you. You may think you sympathize with them and you may have even donated some money, but really, the absolute majority of diamonds out there are only supporting the mass crisis that the majority of Africa is. In fact, Brad Pitt recently spent $250,000 to get the most ethical diamond engagement ring for Angelina Jolie... yet it still may not be fully ethical. If Brad Pitt can't even get a 100% ethical diamond engagement ring, then don't expect you will be able to. ***Except if you make sure that the diamond is from Canada!

So now we are down to three different thought processes you may be going through right now:

Sorry, you haven't convinced me. I still want a $6000 diamond engagement ring. It is ______ (tradition, what I want, whatever).


I will absolutely not bust that an engagement ring is tradition. I'm fine with that, I still want an engagement ring myself when the day comes. It's a wonderful cultural thing that we should keep alive and well. If there is really and truly NOTHING else you would prefer to have for say, $5,000 (given that you have now only spent $1,000 on a ring), then well, I don't know what to tell you besides Africa. If you are all for supporting African warlords so that you can get your consumer-minded inflated diamond ring for "tradition," then well... actually I don't even know what to say.

Also, everyone has diamond rings. Don't you want your engagement ring to be representative of you and your significant other's future and love for each other? Not representative of the newest fad that Kay jewelers came up with?

Get an engagement ring. It doesn't have to be diamond.

I'm on the fence about this...


Africa. Go on a cruise. Put a down payment on a house. Make an emergency fund (ironically, an emergency fund should be enough to cover 3 months of living expenses). Put the savings in a retirement fund so you can live comfortably later in life. $5000 grows a LOT when you put it in early.

Okay, you've convinced me, but now what do I do?


Now, find something that you think would represent you and your significant other better.

Ideas for Alternative Engagement Rings


- Have you guys gone on an unforgettable vacation together? Find a gemstone that is native to that region.
- Go to a local jeweler and have one customized, or check out Etsy for awesome handmade ones.
- Still like the look of diamond? Try moissanite or a white sapphire.
- Try to incorporate hobbies somehow. For example, my boyfriend is into astronomy, so something like moissanite (laboratory created, but only found naturally in meteorites) or even a meteor ring would be unique and representative. Plant or tree hobby? You can find beautiful polished wooden rings. Into birds, butterflies, anything like that? Find a ring that incorporates those things.
- Unless you or your SO's birthday is April*, have a ring custom made with each of your birth stones.

A gorgeous hand crafted Moissanite ring from Etsy: $598

Another one from Etsy: $1,135

There are a lot of alternatives, and I would find it much more endearing to have a symbol of our love that actually symbolizes our love, not what symbolizes every single couple's love.

Admittedly, this is probably the harshest post I have ever written, but in the midst of all of my friends becoming engaged, I felt the need to write it. Let me know what you think, would you still buy a diamond ring?

*Originally said July... but April is diamond month!
*** I have recently become aware that diamonds can also come from Canada, which will likely be conflict-free forever. So, get your diamonds from there if you need 'em.